So yeah. You know what my favorite thing about being out at bars and stuff ever is? Sorry, two favorite things.
I’m guessing anyone who has a beard will have experienced these, as I get them pretty much every time I go outside the house, but more so when at bars, and people are drunk.
1. When you’re out and a girls are like, ” Aw wow, can we all like get a picture with your beard!” No, I’m not a circus attraction, you can come over and talk to me, and then if you’re all cool and stuff, maybe we can get a picture together. I realize this sounds like I’m making myself out to be a big deal, and you should get to know me before ‘being able’ to get a photo with me. Really it’s far from that, I just fucking hate it when people only want to touch/take photos of my beard with out even asking or talking to me.
2. Girls do start to talk to you. They like to call you Jesus/terrorist/homeless guy, which I take with good banter usually, cause they’ve at least taken the time to so speak first. You engage them in conversation but you then find they are just really drunk and are ultimately, not worth the effort. These are generally the people that have crossed the line from happy drunk, on to “You’re not behaving quite-how-I-want-you-to aggressive drunk.” You try and distance yourself from them, but they are usually in a mood, and just aren’t having it. Generally I like to keep my self from falling about in the gutter, and respond with some kind of wit but this often makes things worse and they then turn on a torrent of abuse towards a bearded topic.
These happen more often than not over the course of the year, but have been the forefront theme of nights out this weekend.